Neurodiversity Behind the Wheel

I’ve been an automotive enthusiast for as long as I can remember. From the sound of the engine, to the thrill of a perfect downshift—it has been my special interest before I knew the term or before i discovered my own neurodiversity. I’ve spent years immersed in car culture whether it’s behind the wheel savoring every twisty backroad or behind the lens, finding the perfect angle. But only recently did I realize that the very thing that fuels my passion for driving—my neurodiversity —was also affected the way I drive, how I manage stress on the road, and even how I parent my two incredible neurodivergent boys.

Ironically, my passion for cars probably helped me mask some of these challenges. The tactile engagement of shifting gears, the physical feedback from the car—it’s grounding. Manual transmissions and motorsport environments kept me in the moment. But daily driving? With screaming kids, that’s where the cracks showed. Imagine raising a son who also has ADHD—and another with autism—while managing all this, and undiagnosed. I would easily get overwhelmed or irrationally irritated over the click of a toy more than I’m proud to admit.

ADHD in the Driver’s Seat

Neurodiversity doesn’t stop at the driver’s door. If you find yourself missing turns, zoning out during long drives, or forgetting where I parked the car, you are not alone. You may chalked it up to “mom brain” or just being scatterbrained. But the truth is, ADHD impacts executive function—the mental skills that help us plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. Driving demands all of that, constantly.

Sudden noise? Cue a spike in adrenaline. Distracted by a flashing billboard or song change? Now I’m missing the exit. Overstimulated from a noisy backseat while navigating unfamiliar streets? You get the idea.

Parenting from the passenger seat

My ADHD son is like a mini-me on nitrous: quick witted, curious, easily distracted, and prone to frustration. Unlike me—he is a risk taker, and like every teenager, loves to push every boundary and believes he knows best. All of this can make driving lessons a very challenging experience. Citing driving regulations in response to “why do we need to come to a full stop if there is no one” quickly proved to be the wrong approach for us, considering the relatively rural area we live in. On the other hand any response that remotely felt like I was asking him to conform to “norms” made me cringe, lol.

As he started his own driving journey, I am glad I had a better understanding of my own neurodiversity because it allowed me to anticipate his needs, like instead of calling out the mistake, I learned to offer a suggestion for next time, or ask him how he felt after a “close call”, which—I hope—helps with RSD. I also try to reassure him that I trust him and that and to turn the experience into a lesson. The biggest lesson I've learned is that when I am parenting from the passenger seat, I’m regulating not just my nervous system, but everyone else’s too.

Finding Grace

 As a mom to two distinctly different neurodiverse sons, I see the world through a lens that many don’t. I’ve learned to advocate fiercely, navigate meltdowns, decode silence, and celebrate victories that others might overlook. The more I learn about neurodiversity, the more I see how deeply it intersects with every part of my life—especially my love of driving. I used to think I just liked cars because they were fun. Now, I know driving is also a form of therapy, regulation, and freedom.

If you’re a neurodivergent driver—or raising neurodivergent kids—know that you’re not alone. There’s no shame in adjusting your habits, seeking support, or finding joy in the little wins. Whether it’s remembering to breathe at a red light, or getting through a family road trip meltdown-free, it all counts.

And if you’re into cars like me? Maybe ADHD isn’t a roadblock. Maybe it’s the engine. You just need to learn how to tune it.

I leave you with some of my automotive adventures through the years

Till next time, J

Special thanks to Paul from Shamieh Law for sharing this resource, which inspiring me to write this post. I encourage you to read their ADHD and Driving resource created specifically for those driving with ADHD.